Saturday, July 11, 2015

The first 36 hours were a dozy.

The time has come and we are on the road, and oh what an adventure it has already been. It begins with a uhaul... We will start out in Bisbee as that is truly where the adventure began. I found myself knee deep in almost finished projects and time running down. I spent my last day in Bisbee working frantically to finish the projects and with enough time to get myself packed, Shirley loaded into Penelope and drive to Phoenix. Everything was going smooth, despite being a hard day of work, I managed to finish the projects, get packed and on the road. That's when the first hiccup happened.
If any of you have driven from the border north you are aware there are border stops, not just the ones at the border, but stops beyond the border, miles beyond the border. Well I have one I normally go through, specifically because they rarely have a drug dog on site. Well this night was not my lucky night, well not entirely... The dog immediately alerted the officers to my vehicle. My heart stopped and I thought "ah shit, and there goes my trip". The officer with the dog asked me to pull over and get out of the car. I obliged, I will have to admit I did have weed, however the officer mentioned they were not looking for "personal amounts". So I figured just be charming and respectful and everything would work out. Sure enough officer friendly and his trusty sidekick locate a roach in small stone pipe I made, a small jar of marijuana in my bag and a glass marijuana pipe. He then ditched the dog began to search my whole vehicle including all of my bags, he found nothing else and looked me over.
I was wearing a skirt that was as dirty as I could make it, a shirt that had lost all of its buttons and of course a cowboy hat.
"You're an artist aren't ya?" he asked.
"Yes sir" I responded with my typical smile and wink.
"Alright, well I'm going to reward my dog for this, then I'm going to have to take the weed, and then I will let you go." The officer took the dog and pointed to all the goodies he had found and gave the dog a toy. "Well Imma let you go now, but if I catch you again I am gonna have to call the locals."
"No worries brother, you won't be seeing me for awhile!" I hopped in my truck and drove away as fast as I could before he could change his mind. Heart racing now I continued my drive. Made a pit stop in Tucson and then finally got into phoenix at 12:30am.
By 4:30 the next morning I was up and putting all of my shit together, and drinking much needed coffee. My uncle dropped off the uhaul, I loaded Shirley into the box truck and were on the road by 7. Smooooth sailing all the way to LA as I passed bleak dehydrated desert lands screaming for water and listened to the AM radio. Then LA happened. It was 1:30 when I made it into the LA area, of course I hit traffic. So here I am riding  bumper to bumper in a giant box with aggressive California drivers all around me. Suddenly the car in front of me decides to change lanes, bad timing, he immediately drives into the path of an oncoming car. Luckily I saw this coming a mile away and had already started to apply my breaks. I manage to avoid the accident but the car in front of the guy was not as lucky. I get out make sure everyone is alright give my information to the woman who was hit and then got back in the uhaul and drove up to the next bumper. We continue on until I hear smash. A car a few lanes over had just been rear-ended. I wasn't stopping this time, I just wanted to get out of there. A few miles later the person behind me decides to try his luck at merging lanes, smash. I was well over it, my knuckles were white, my eyes were popping. Finally I could see the end in sight as I made my way into the mountains. Ah sweet relief, I flipped through the AM found myself a sweet old timey station and cruised north up through the mountains in my box. The drive was beautiful, the gas prices were ungodly. I decided it would be better to hold my breath and hope the truck made it down the mountain before needing more gas. I lucked out, the truck cruised down the mountain and with just enough gas to spare got me to a loves where the gas was almost an entire dollar cheaper. Woot!
I slipped in next to a pump hopped out and went to pay, I had left the door open but the wind decided it should be closed. Unfortunately I had left the keys in the cab, and the door just happened to be locked. I let my head drop against the window. Though again lucky enough, it was at a loves and sure as shit there was a gentleman there with a lockout kit.  In just a few minutes he jimmied the door open and I was back on my way. This time nothing could stop me, I was determined, no stops, no distractions.
By 10 o'clock I could finally see the bay bridge! Oh sweet heavens yes. I flipped through the AM radio one more time and found myself a station with nothing but Hindi music straight from Ballywood. I turned up the radio and jammed out as I sat in bay bridge traffic. As I made across the bridge I found myself enthralled by the music, and so much into it that I quickly passed my turn. That's alright I thought, I can find my way back. SO I took the next exit. I of course immediately got lost. I had been in san fran before, but it was night and I was turned around. I opened my computer which had directions on it and a map, but it died. I knew where I needed to be but not exactly how I to get there. Finally I found myself at Castro and Market, and from there knew I could find my way. I finally pulled up to my sweet Cousin's house, found a parking lot and crashed harder than one could imagine.
Today has been a day helping my cousin put together furniture, run errands and of course get old Shirley ready for the road. Tomorrow the riding begins with a short trip probably to half moon bay, then a little further to Santa Cruz before heading up to oakland and beyond. If this adventure is anything like the first couple of days it should be a wonderfully crazy experience. Love and alohas to you all.

Your Captain,
Colorblind Carl

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